A note for you to start off:
We’ve all gone through a lot in life and likely feel the same way, some more than others and some less, but no one is alone in this. Ironically, all humans are very similar. But life is a journey, however hard or easy, there is never a stalemate or a dead end, everything is in constant flux, always moving on, like water down a river: eddies around rocks, slowing into pools, churning and rushing down rapids, even cascading down a waterfall, and then the gentler creeks under a springtime sun. It may appear that the water falls forever or is left in a puddle of still water for a long time, but eventually there’s a way onward, and even if not forward or backward, the water will evaporate and come back down to give life as fresh rain.
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It’s a lot warmer now and sunlight is awakening the spirit of adventurer, which at times can be detrimental to the creative spirit. From my experience, the creative spirit is at its peak and full form during winter and the beginning of spring (most of my novels actually started during that time frame), because winter limits the body and calms us down to become more depressive and inwardly contemplative. This evokes a lot of mental activity, in thought, which opens the bridge towards a higher realm of consciousness, into mythology, prophecy, philosophy, abstract concept and self-realization and expression. However, there is no doubt spring feels amazing. The sun is re-energizing and glorious. The temperature is perfect, not cold and not too hot. It is great to get back on a skateboard and feel the breeze in my face. I love the spring and summer seasons; life becomes anew.
Here’s a quick sketch from a week ago that’s supposed to double as a self-portrait and a drawing of Naoki Maeda from Espresso Love! It was fun, and I’m glad how it turned out. My favourite style is actually something rough and painterly like this that resembles watercolours. I will attempt to draw in Shizuka Kaneko next.
Along with that regard, new business cards have been designed and are on the way! Can’t wait to receive them. It was a great deal and the quality of these cards will be amazing. My old music cards had been done by this company called Moo, on promotional packages. They are based off of the Espresso Love minimalistic design and will also feature the drawing of myself.
On this note, Espresso Love is at like 120,000 words and counting on my Word document, though a lot of it hasn’t been posted up yet. Quite intimidating for me but I seem to have enough drive and creative energy to see this through. I can see the end but it looks like it’ll still be a great number of words left to write. I believe the way it will wrap up would be fulfilling to the overall story, philosophies and messages presented. I implore you to catch up and stay tuned, because things are continually getting more and more interesting. However, there will be tremendous editing and refining needed afterwards. It would be ideal to cut it back down to 100,000 words.
My ultimate dream and vision for Espresso Love is not only to se it picked up by a good agent and a big publisher but I hope to write/collaborate on original (likely acoustic) music to put out an exclusive mini-album, as well as illustrate and work with illustrators for collectible artwork. Furthermore, to host book signing events or even mini acoustic lives in Starbucks and have some sort of promotional campaign with my custom drink order …. Quite a dream! I don’t know if it will be entirely possible. I hope that you will be in with me on this project for a long ride of a lifetime and pray for this to pan out nicely.
The novel will be featured on Wattpad in mid-June I believe and I’ve been getting involved in that community as well. It’s been a lot of fun and I’ve been able to find a lot of really good writers and great pieces of literature. I’ve been hesitant to join the site because it is known for fanfiction and teen culture, but so far I’ve been able to come across a neat corner of the community, and don’t actually run across writing that I don’t prefer to read. Through some careful selection and reading, it’s like having my own little custom library and recommendations. Through my experiences there I’ve been meeting spectacular people and also gaining a following, as well as new people interested in cell phone novels, which is really cool. It is still a tricky situation that will need careful treading, since Textnovel is our exclusive home and the history of our entire movement.
Through Wattpad I’ve also had a really interesting and neat new experience of receiving fanfiction written for/about me. Kind of a strange feeling when it began but on the other hand, also quite flattering and encouraging. There has also been an abundant flow of encouragement through messages and feedback from readers from different places around the internet. Sometimes this doesn’t happen very often actually and I’m not sure if my work is actually reaching anyone. Views might go up but there’s not much response at times.
It is my greatest passion to touch hearts, change lives and give new insight, and when I hear this happening, it is the best gift an artist can ever wish for. Through my work, I am happy to know I’ve made positive changes in the world and made a difference in someone’s life. Each message counts so much. And because of these recently, it has actually in turn encouraged me to be a better, more considerate person myself. I can feel myself filled with some sort of unconditional love for people and a greater desire to invest into someone else’s life. So I’d like to thank you if you are reading this and have always supported my work and encouraged me. I thank you for your messages, writing, for letting me know that your life has been changed in some way and thank you for your love.
Last week, we went to the ONE OK ROCK concert. They are incredibly inspirational to me and are insane musicians. Seeing them live was essentially like sitting in waves of their sheer creative and musical power and then swallowing it and absorbing all of it as quickly as I could. I’d rather not go into a full on rant on them and their music, I don’t think it’s necessary or possible to express what it means to me and how life-changing they are; I’ll quickly brief over what I experienced. I have a videos but they just didn’t seem enough to convey the experience in full, and I also don’t have that many clips, because of the nature of the concert. To summarize: 1) Concerts are so noisy you can’t hear a thing until after, when you watch videos and realize how amazing it was 2) Rock concerts are so intense you are suffocated in a sea of people, sweating like a waterfall and struggling to stay standing without losing your phone or other belongings 3) My ear was ringing for two days after and my shoes were utterly destroyed 4) It was the community experience with so many friends and new friends that counted. I met a lot of great people and also enjoyed being myself again. I had unlocked or discovered my confident, outgoing self when I went to Japan two years ago, and it’s not often that I get to release my true hyperactive social nature, since there just aren’t many people – or excited people – around all the time where I live in the suburbs. It’s a good feeling to have a ton of fun and just be free. Since we lined up quite early, we were pretty upfront in the crowd, but not as close as I’d have preferred to be. It was raining hard about an hour and half before the doors opened so that was both painful and amusing at the same time, considering the construction of our umbrella tents and three-man bromance clutters. I had signed the fan banner as a real Taka as per request lol!
I had planned to visit High Park for hanami but it was a triple disaster. The long and harsh winter had only given way to an extra late season, 80-90% of full bloom, and the rain through the week had taken off alot of the remaining cherry blossoms. I’m used to the full peak bloom seasons from the last time I was in High Park and my experience in Japan. I guess I’ll have to wait til next year, which I hope will be better.
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L’Homme et La Mer
Free man, you will always cherish the sea!
The sea is your mirror; you contemplate your soul
In the infinite unrolling of its billows;
Your mind is an abyss that is no less bitter.
You like to plunge into the bosom of your image;
You embrace it with eyes and arms, and your heart
Is distracted at times from its own clamoring
By the sound of this plaint, wild and untamable.
Both of you are gloomy and reticent:
Man, no one has sounded the depths of your being;
O Sea, no person knows your most hidden riches,
So zealously do you keep your secrets!
Yet for countless ages you have fought each other
Without pity, without remorse,
So fiercely do you love carnage and death,
O eternal fighters, implacable brothers!
Baudelaire