Toronto has pretty much skipped spring and we’ve been in full summer flair for a week now, soaring 20s, fully sunny days, blue cloudless skies, no wind. The season of ice cream, girls in short shorts, sunglasses, skateboarding, the beach… Indeed I love summer. In the winter, in Canada, I often get depressed lol. The lack of sun is one major factor. But now that it’s back, I feel so refreshed and full of life!! Also probably contributed to my return to this blog here. No doubt I love summer. It’s been warm lately, so High Park has been in bloom with cherry blossoms.
I haven’t actually gone there to see them yet. But I’m actually reluctant to do so. Because it reminds me of Japan. One year ago, in April til June, I was in Japan for the best experience and time of my life. Solo trip, just me and my guitar. Meeting and catching up with old friends, and oh meeting so so so many new people from all over the world, networking all over the place, crazy events and epic opportunities… like doing a street live in Ikebukuro, handing my EP CD (released March 29, 2012) Aozora (Blue Skies) directly to YUI’s Sony Music Producer, meeting YUI’s band and going on a cycling trip with Sony Music peoples, free concerts and lives, bumping into Itano Tomomi in Tower Records, guitar lessons and vocal workshop with local Japanese music schools, having a great time with my homestay family, becoming friends with local musicians in live houses and street performances, the places we went to, the scenery from urban upbeat night life to the beautiful trips through the country side and hitting the shore line in Enoshima, there were so many more things I would never ever forget. Literally, it was beyond my expectations. If you take a tour, you can’t experience that kind of stuff. At the same time, alone as a backpacker you can’t do that either… It was thanks to all my friends for making the experience so amazing and I got to experience so many things and live a local life. Japan is just way too epic. I can’t wait to go back.
But once I was there, I realized this is where I belong. I feel at home. (I realize I should’ve posted blogs about some of these things… I’m going to try to get together an album of all 2000 or so of my pictures from Japan… keep an eye out for that)
I can’t believe I missed out on expressing myself on this blog for the past year where the most important things of my life happened. I was working as a web designer, after half a year and saving up money, I jumped right into producing my first album my EP CD in my house Aozora (Blue Skies) which features my main track Ashita no Yume「明日の夢」(Tomorrow’s Dream) which was written in 2011 for Japan after the major disasters, as a message of encouragement towards hopes and dreams and standing up again, produced at home right after my job in 2012.This was a major accomplishment for me. Never done something like that before. At the same time I got a lot better musically during that time and throughout the rest of the year til up to now. Ashita no Yume is still one of my greatest achievements I believe. It carries a magic that can only be explained as the gift of God. Like a song that I didn’t compose or try hard to compose or anything, it just came naturally. So did the lyrics. It just happened. And til now, even though my vocal skills and musical skills in general improved a lot from the training i’ve done, I still haven’t been able to create a song on that level yet. I’m still waiting for that magic to happen again. The kind of magic, the kind of music that leaves goosebumps in your spine cuz its so full of life and hopes and dreams and inspiration.
Listen to the old song here:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEVgqnTyRRw]
Anyway after that episode, armed with a stack of CDs I went to Japan and Hong Kong for a solo backpacking trip with my guitar for three months. Once again, that was the hugest experiences and biggest moments of my life. No words or even pictures can describe the kind of epicness that happened. The same epicness happened in Hong Kong, and I realized and discovered what kind of person I am. How I am actually able to be so outgoing, network so well and really connect people together, whether it is myself with others or other people with each other. I discovered this passion for networking and building communities and helping people feel comfortable, getting to know people on a deeper level. At the same time, I also realized there were so many opportunities in Asia and just out there when I reach out and take a step of faith. My passion for music is in my blood and it haunts me because though I feel called to do it, I feel I lack skill and am not very good. When in Japan and Hong Kong I got to hang out with so many local musicians… but everyone was spectacular in their own ways. Everyone was like kira kira kagayaite shining somehow. Their own unique magic. Of course some more than others… lol But I realized i need to find my own magic too. Who am I as a musician? As a writer? As a person? etc. (Read my NEW cell phone novel project that is a semi-autobiographical representation of the struggles of myself as a musician)
Getting back from Japan I got pretty depressed, because I was stuck here once again. I had a lot of plans when I was just leaving asia. I intended to go back right away almost to work in Asia and pursue music. Or go to school in Japan etc. Things didn’t work out that way. I had a lot of worries and uncertainties whether I would actually be able to do it. Three months, I discovered I could do a lot of things. But at the same time a long term permanent stay I felt uncertain about at this point. I needed to prepare, my heart, my mind, my skills, etc. Here it got pretty depressing because all of a sudden I was left in this vast flat expanse of Canada, in the middle of suburbs with nothing going on, with not many friends I enjoy hanging out with or felt connected on a deeper level with. I felt completely different in Japan, I felt so alive, so excited to live, so free, so real to myself. But here, I lost myself. For many months. I didn’t know what to do with my life. I knew I wanted to get back to Asia but how? I’m not good enough. Yada yada.
I decided to return to school, because I need the degree to open up more opportunities. It’s much easier if you have a North American degree to move to and stay in Asia. It’s a phase of life that I must conquer and move on from. In order to pursue whatever is in store for me in the future. So I’m about to start summer school and onwards from here. Wish me luck.
Anyway I’m one confusing person with ADD so back to the now. Sakura. They’re the prettiest, most magnificent things ever. When I went to Japan in April, they were everywhere. It was magic.
I don’t want to go to High Park because I would be overwhelmed with feelings. All sorts of feelings. Nostalgia, memories, depression, hahaha. I look at these pictures and recall Japan. where i seemed like a different person. Where i long to return… but I can’t at the moment. And it’s almost like recalling your childhood memories, where there’s no way you’ll be that person again, no way that time will be reversed. That you lost something precious yet gained something precious. Ah.. sakura. Are amazing. Every year, for that short period of time. They teach how we have to cherish life and the beauty in life.
Not my pictures. Just some of the pictures I’ve really liked from other blogs and my friends.
As for any other updates… Secondhand Memories is still getting new chapters for Book 2, so be sure to follow the story which is now in Aoi’s saga. Don’t be intimidated by the chapter or word count! The first “Book One” (in the same location) is around 80,000 words which is standard for novels, the same word count as the first book in the Harry Potter Series for example. I’m working on Book Two currently, so that’s what is being written.
Don’t forget to check out all my new writing projects as well. Writing Projects Page also seen on top menu
Other than that, yep, summer school starting now. I will also be performing with a new band at a local night market event (possibly), stay tuned for stuff bout that.